Becoming Project 2015: Charity
There are times when we know God is watching over us. We can feel His hand in our lives, in the events around us, and we know-- with absolute certainty-- that something big is happening. The Becoming Project felt like an opportunity from my Heavenly Father to show me something wonderful, something unparalleled, and something I never suspected: inner strength, love, and peace. The assignment was simple: pick an attribute of the Savior that I would like to further develop within me, write down some specific scriptures and goals associated with that attribute, and practice becoming more like that attribute.
In Matthew 12: 28--29 it says, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest...learn of me..."
Although the assignment appeared simple, to implement it was not. I knew immediately that Heavenly Father wanted me to work on a specific attribute: charity. In answering the question: 'Why did you choose this particular attribute?' my response was, 'This attribute is important... it can be easy to forget to constantly have love in our hearts.' Sometimes we can all too easily let an event, or a person bring us to a point where we allow hate or misery to overshadow everything else. Our Heavenly Father loves us, and he wants us to learn, to grow, to become more like Him. The Becoming Project was an opportunity to do just that.
Whenever change happens, children have a tendency to slip through the cracks-- and I didn't want that to happen to mine. Instead, I made them my focus. In Mosiah 4:15 it states, ...teach children to love and serve one another'. One of my goals was to take each of my children out for some one on one time. Sometimes, with time being short, I combined our outing with an errand, but other times it was just me and them and some of their favorite food. I've also helped them with their chores, sometimes doing it for them. I've noticed that as I have chosen to spend time with them, and specifically spend time for them, they have chosen to open up about their own worries, offer help to one another more willingly, and a charitable love is felt for one another.
In the beginning, my intermediate goal was to, 'integrate the love I feel in my heart [for my children] with the way I express that love...' I loved sarcasm-- I loved the witty, the snarky, and the irony in my day-- but I knew that sometimes it came across as harsh, and unfeeling. Not everyone appreciates it, and for my Becoming Project to be real, to really make a difference for me, I needed to focus on pure charity-- and that meant the sarcasm had to significantly decrease. This, over time, became an indicator of true change for me. My words, my tone of voice became softer, more full of love. At first it felt strange and unfamiliar, but as I focused on feeling the love of Christ in my heart, the words just came out differently-- and I felt differently when I spoke.
Life didn't magically get easy-- although countless times I would kneel in prayer asking for things to become so. Instead, things got more busy, and more hectic than ever. My days included driving my daughter across town as she had started religion courses, helping my sons' with their scouting and school activities as they became more complicated. I had to constantly re-affirm my decision to put my Becoming Project into practice, and work on keeping charity as a living, breathing, entity in my heart.
Sometimes I chose spontaneous service to help me feel the love of Christ in my heart. Other times I felt the love of Christ in my heart so strongly, I couldn't help but do something -- and those became the days when many beautiful things happened. * "I overcame many difficulties, and put aside things that on the surface may have seemed important, but in the eternities, will not have compared to keeping close to my children, and having them know without a doubt of my love for them." These are some of the words I used in reporting my progress. Setting aside the 'busy' things, and focusing on the important things, helped me maintain an inner calm and peace of heart. Although things were not getting easier, I was becoming stronger in my determination. I was seeing change.
Love for those around you-- even in difficult times, is hard. '...be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming patient, full of love.' Alma 13:28 The more I focused on my Becoming Project, the more I found I could more easily discern how my children were doing, and how those around me were doing. I was also noticing opportunities for me to show love for others through service in other ways too.
"Just as faith and doubt cannot exist in the same mind at the same time, love and hate cannot exist in the same heart, at one and the same time. Love can push out the hate and fear, but we must be willing to give it the power to do so by listening and obeying the Holy Ghost. When we do, we become patient, full of love, and we draw closer to our Heavenly Father." I still believe these words that I wrote months ago. I know that as I have focused on becoming more Christ-like, I have felt the love and peace in my heart increase. Charity is the pure love of Christ. 'Charity is everlasting love...' 2 Nephi 26:30 When I read this scripture, I know what it means. It means that focusing on having love-- pure love-- in our hearts means that as it dwells in our hearts, it can remain there despite any obstacles or difficulties we may have.
Becoming more like Christ isn't for the faint of heart. It is not easy. I have had my hard days. I have also had days when my heart sings with pure joy and love. Change-- true, internal change, cannot be contained. It slips through the cracks of the surface, and soon that change is everywhere in our lives. It can permeate the very air around us. I am grateful for the opportunity to participate in the Becoming Project. Through this unusual assignment, I have had my heart lifted and carried.
"For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Matthew 11:30
Become someone better.
Become.
*Events soon to be posted in 'A Christmas Surprise'
Thursday, December 17, 2015
Sunday, December 6, 2015
A Living Parable: The Good Samaritan
I've decided to write up a few experiences that I've had over the course of my life that closely resemble various parables, or other experiences in the scriptures. Names will be changed, because these are true.....
I was pregnant with our first child when my husband had this idea to take me to Vegas. I had never been, we were both bored stiff, and there was about $200 sitting in the account begging to be spent. Something was mentioned about swimming with the penguins in Vegas-- and even if I didn't want to do it myself, it did sound interesting. At the time, we lived in Glendale, California, so Vegas wasn't all that far from us-- so we gathered some things and hit the road.
Things were going well all the way up until we got about 40 miles past Barstow-- and that's when the car started acting up. The car was barely chugging along, and we were on a deserted section of the freeway. We could see an exit ahead in the distance, and we slowly made our way to it. We were hopeful when we got off, because we could see a garage just off to the side. We made our way there, knocked on the locked door, and an older gentleman, with a white beard, came out asking us what we wanted. It turns out he owned a tow truck, and would be willing to take us, and the car, back to Barstow-- for $300.
Well, that was out of our price range.
So, driving as fast as we could (a steady 11 miles per hour), back to Barstow, we dodged big semi-trucks, and cars-- oftentimes having to resort to driving on the shoulder of the road to avoid being hit. Forty miles is a long way if you can only go 11 miles per hour. We did the math, and figured we could be home again by the next day in the evening.....if the car was willing. We passed Barstow, and started our way homeward.
And that was the moment we got pulled over by a cop. Apparently it is illegal to drive on the shoulder, and also illegal to drive 11 mph on the freeway. For our safety, we were told to turn around, and head back to Barstow-- via a tiny, little, dark road.
Once we got to Barstow, we had to figure out what to do next. This was before cell phones, so we looked around for a payphone. When in doubt, make a call.
But who?
Here is where my story really begins......
The first phone call went to my husband's best friend Bob. We made the call, and learned that that Bob was actually going to be headed up the 15 freeway, because he was helping a friend (Mike, another high school buddy of my husband), move with his widowed mother up to Utah-- and they would be driving into Barstow in just a few hours. The cavalry was on its way. So we waited.
Unfortunately, when Bob pulled in, we discovered that neither Bob nor Mike were in charge of the expedition-- Mike's uncle was. Mike's uncle had looked over the lease of the moving truck, and despite the truck having chains that could potentially be used to tow our car-- he saw the fine print where it stated no towing. And so they all continued on their way north leaving us behind.
The next call went to a family where the husband was currently serving in a strong position within the church. It was evening at this point, and when we got a hold of him, we were sure we would be rescued. These were great people.
But instead of help, we got a 'well,..... let me think if there is anyone I know out that way....nope, can't think of anyone-- wish I could help'. So no help would be coming from that quarter either.* Sigh.
It was getting late at this point, and we were starting to feel desperate. We just wanted to get home. Our last call went to a man who had once served as a Young Men's leader in Sunnyland, California. We made the call-- it was close to ten o'clock at night at this point-- and Brett picks up the phone.
He listens to our story, and tells us he is on his way. He also mentions that if this is a prank, and we are not in Barstow-- well, I'm going to leave out those details ;)
When he gets to Barstow, he is driving his wife's van. I begin to drift off to sleep in the passenger seat.... but I hear snippets of an incredible story.....
That day, when Brett arrived at his office (he is a doctor), the whole office was flooded in two inches of water. He had cancelled all his appointments, and spent the day getting everything dry. He arrived home extremely late, and extremely tired. His head had literally just hit his pillow when we called him.
And yet he came.
There are all sorts of times when what we hope for doesn't happen. I never did see penguins in Vegas. Instead I spent the day worried, cold, and feeling deserted. The man who was robbed in The Good Samaritan, was robbed, wounded, and left alone to suffer.
How many times have we been-- symbolically even-- in that situation? All too often. Sometimes it is of our own doing, (I might have left out the 5 quarts of oil my husband had put into the car the day before). Sometimes it has nothing to do with what we have done (flooded office, anyone?).
In either case, we are going to have to make the decision: what will we do? Do we pass by? Do we stop? Do we make the call and reach out?
Life is full of surprises-- and our willingness to help after a long day, just may be the most neighborly surprise of all.
*This all happened March 31-- so the phone call could have been seen as a pre-April Fool's joke.
I was pregnant with our first child when my husband had this idea to take me to Vegas. I had never been, we were both bored stiff, and there was about $200 sitting in the account begging to be spent. Something was mentioned about swimming with the penguins in Vegas-- and even if I didn't want to do it myself, it did sound interesting. At the time, we lived in Glendale, California, so Vegas wasn't all that far from us-- so we gathered some things and hit the road.
Things were going well all the way up until we got about 40 miles past Barstow-- and that's when the car started acting up. The car was barely chugging along, and we were on a deserted section of the freeway. We could see an exit ahead in the distance, and we slowly made our way to it. We were hopeful when we got off, because we could see a garage just off to the side. We made our way there, knocked on the locked door, and an older gentleman, with a white beard, came out asking us what we wanted. It turns out he owned a tow truck, and would be willing to take us, and the car, back to Barstow-- for $300.
Well, that was out of our price range.
So, driving as fast as we could (a steady 11 miles per hour), back to Barstow, we dodged big semi-trucks, and cars-- oftentimes having to resort to driving on the shoulder of the road to avoid being hit. Forty miles is a long way if you can only go 11 miles per hour. We did the math, and figured we could be home again by the next day in the evening.....if the car was willing. We passed Barstow, and started our way homeward.
And that was the moment we got pulled over by a cop. Apparently it is illegal to drive on the shoulder, and also illegal to drive 11 mph on the freeway. For our safety, we were told to turn around, and head back to Barstow-- via a tiny, little, dark road.
Once we got to Barstow, we had to figure out what to do next. This was before cell phones, so we looked around for a payphone. When in doubt, make a call.
But who?
Here is where my story really begins......
The first phone call went to my husband's best friend Bob. We made the call, and learned that that Bob was actually going to be headed up the 15 freeway, because he was helping a friend (Mike, another high school buddy of my husband), move with his widowed mother up to Utah-- and they would be driving into Barstow in just a few hours. The cavalry was on its way. So we waited.
Unfortunately, when Bob pulled in, we discovered that neither Bob nor Mike were in charge of the expedition-- Mike's uncle was. Mike's uncle had looked over the lease of the moving truck, and despite the truck having chains that could potentially be used to tow our car-- he saw the fine print where it stated no towing. And so they all continued on their way north leaving us behind.
The next call went to a family where the husband was currently serving in a strong position within the church. It was evening at this point, and when we got a hold of him, we were sure we would be rescued. These were great people.
But instead of help, we got a 'well,..... let me think if there is anyone I know out that way....nope, can't think of anyone-- wish I could help'. So no help would be coming from that quarter either.* Sigh.
It was getting late at this point, and we were starting to feel desperate. We just wanted to get home. Our last call went to a man who had once served as a Young Men's leader in Sunnyland, California. We made the call-- it was close to ten o'clock at night at this point-- and Brett picks up the phone.
He listens to our story, and tells us he is on his way. He also mentions that if this is a prank, and we are not in Barstow-- well, I'm going to leave out those details ;)
When he gets to Barstow, he is driving his wife's van. I begin to drift off to sleep in the passenger seat.... but I hear snippets of an incredible story.....
That day, when Brett arrived at his office (he is a doctor), the whole office was flooded in two inches of water. He had cancelled all his appointments, and spent the day getting everything dry. He arrived home extremely late, and extremely tired. His head had literally just hit his pillow when we called him.
And yet he came.
There are all sorts of times when what we hope for doesn't happen. I never did see penguins in Vegas. Instead I spent the day worried, cold, and feeling deserted. The man who was robbed in The Good Samaritan, was robbed, wounded, and left alone to suffer.
How many times have we been-- symbolically even-- in that situation? All too often. Sometimes it is of our own doing, (I might have left out the 5 quarts of oil my husband had put into the car the day before). Sometimes it has nothing to do with what we have done (flooded office, anyone?).
In either case, we are going to have to make the decision: what will we do? Do we pass by? Do we stop? Do we make the call and reach out?
Life is full of surprises-- and our willingness to help after a long day, just may be the most neighborly surprise of all.
*This all happened March 31-- so the phone call could have been seen as a pre-April Fool's joke.
Saturday, December 5, 2015
One Tree, Two Trees, Three Trees
It's December.
It's time for sugar cookies, gingerbread cookies, no-bake cookies, wreaths indoors, wreaths outdoors, presents in wrapping paper, presents with string, presents in stockings, and presents of time, and presents of service, making turkey, baking hams, mashed potatoes, and trees.
It's time for a sanity check.
When did Christmas become so.......so BIG?
Does it really need to be?
Today I was the recipient of an act of kindness. Yesterday I had purchased from a store, a small box that contained two small flocked Christmas trees. After opening the box last night, it was discovered that one of the trees had a broken base. When I called this morning, an employee told me to bring back the broken tree, but I could leave the good one here at the house. After arriving at the store, I was asked to wait while someone went and brought forward another box. I used the time to rock in the chair provided (they had it on display, and I was happy to check out its rocking abilities), moving my feet when ever someone would pass by. In just a few minutes, a new box was brought to the front, and I went to the desk. The employee opened the box, lifted one tree out, and then gestured for me to take the box. I told her that the box contained two trees, and I had only returned one. She looked confused-- and then the manager who was standing a few feet away, called to her, and told her to give me the entire contents of the box-- two new trees. My jaw dropped-- kindness in the mad rush of a Saturday in December? Kindness-- more true than he could possibly imagine-- indeed.
My first thought was: Are you serious? Really? And then my eyes began to water-- because I've have become accustomed to the brutal, unfeeling, and rather bored people that surround us during this time of year. It's what the days leading up to Christmas have become. Ask any mom to describe in only a few words, this time of year, and 'stressful' is bound to be one of them. But in the blink of an eye, my day changed and became full of gratitude for a man (Thank you Ben!) who took the time to make someone's day a lot brighter.
"For I say unto you that whatsoever is good cometh from God..." -- Alma 5:40.
As I sit on my couch, and look around me, I see a small tree, I see my grandmothers rocking chair, and I see my life-- symbolically nestled around me into a small sphere. My children have just left the room after joining me for a short scripture study. We've offered a prayer to our Heavenly Father. The lights of the tree shine down on the little baby wrapped in an old tablecloth symbolizing the swaddling clothes. There are no gaily wrapped presents there-- not yet anyways. For in this quiet, perfect, moment, all is well. For now, all is calm-- and Peace is found in a basket of hope.
When did Christmas become so........ so personal?
Answer: Whenever, wherever, and in whomever the Light of Hope is shining forth.
Pass it on.
It's time for sugar cookies, gingerbread cookies, no-bake cookies, wreaths indoors, wreaths outdoors, presents in wrapping paper, presents with string, presents in stockings, and presents of time, and presents of service, making turkey, baking hams, mashed potatoes, and trees.
It's time for a sanity check.
When did Christmas become so.......so BIG?
Does it really need to be?
Today I was the recipient of an act of kindness. Yesterday I had purchased from a store, a small box that contained two small flocked Christmas trees. After opening the box last night, it was discovered that one of the trees had a broken base. When I called this morning, an employee told me to bring back the broken tree, but I could leave the good one here at the house. After arriving at the store, I was asked to wait while someone went and brought forward another box. I used the time to rock in the chair provided (they had it on display, and I was happy to check out its rocking abilities), moving my feet when ever someone would pass by. In just a few minutes, a new box was brought to the front, and I went to the desk. The employee opened the box, lifted one tree out, and then gestured for me to take the box. I told her that the box contained two trees, and I had only returned one. She looked confused-- and then the manager who was standing a few feet away, called to her, and told her to give me the entire contents of the box-- two new trees. My jaw dropped-- kindness in the mad rush of a Saturday in December? Kindness-- more true than he could possibly imagine-- indeed.
My first thought was: Are you serious? Really? And then my eyes began to water-- because I've have become accustomed to the brutal, unfeeling, and rather bored people that surround us during this time of year. It's what the days leading up to Christmas have become. Ask any mom to describe in only a few words, this time of year, and 'stressful' is bound to be one of them. But in the blink of an eye, my day changed and became full of gratitude for a man (Thank you Ben!) who took the time to make someone's day a lot brighter.
"For I say unto you that whatsoever is good cometh from God..." -- Alma 5:40.
As I sit on my couch, and look around me, I see a small tree, I see my grandmothers rocking chair, and I see my life-- symbolically nestled around me into a small sphere. My children have just left the room after joining me for a short scripture study. We've offered a prayer to our Heavenly Father. The lights of the tree shine down on the little baby wrapped in an old tablecloth symbolizing the swaddling clothes. There are no gaily wrapped presents there-- not yet anyways. For in this quiet, perfect, moment, all is well. For now, all is calm-- and Peace is found in a basket of hope.
When did Christmas become so........ so personal?
Answer: Whenever, wherever, and in whomever the Light of Hope is shining forth.
Pass it on.
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