Or did you feel something different? Did you feel alone? Scared? Without hope? Did you feel isolated from the people around you?
Me too.
At first it was freeing-- less rules, or at least fewer that I was obeying or paying attention to. I felt very grown up and mature about making 'my own life' and it was, for a time, very thrilling.....until I realized all I was giving up to be 'free'.
Sometimes, if we grow up in a place and time that we don't understand, we try out new things, new paths, and new vistas. But if they don't work out, we usually just move on, hoping that the next 'new thing' will offer what the last 'new thing' lacked. We eventually realize that what is lacking in our lives isn't what is, or is not, on the outside-- it is what isn't in us anymore on the inside, and that lack, is what can be the difference between a meaningful life, and an empty one.
Knowing who we are-- having an absolute, supreme understanding of that, will change us forever. If we are a musician, we will play until our fingers are numb-- and it will bring us joy to keep on playing. If we are an artist, to create will be our driving force-- it will define our environment, and if they let us-- everyone else's environment too.
When we find our identity, we are in a perfect spot to make something of ourselves...... and no matter what anyone else says or thinks, we will continue with our passion-- because it is our passion in life.
Which brings me to the 'wild child'. In 2 Nephi 15:4, it says, "....Wherefore, when I looked that it should bring forth grapes, it brought forth wild grapes." Sometimes we walk on the 'wild side' because we don't know yet who we are. We may have been told we are sons and daughters of our Heavenly Father, but being told isn't the same as knowing it. When we lack the pure knowledge of our divine heritage, we are not going to behave in the same manner as we would otherwise. We are going to make more mistakes and make decisions that in retrospect bring tears of sadness when we look back at them.
But when that moment of understanding comes....our hearts will leap with joy. "...yea, my soul delighteth in his grace, and in his justice, and power, and mercy in the great and eternal plan of deliverance from death." 2 Nehpi 11: 5
Walk in joy. Be your best self.
Eat the good grapes.
Heavenly Father loves you.