Thursday, September 27, 2012
Monday, July 16, 2012
My talk for church July 15, 2012
(For my talk/ sermon in church, I used people's first names, but here I have tried to remove their names to better focus on the experiences they had.)
.........................................................
When I first received the topic, "Relief Society, And The Role of Women In Service," I asked some of my friends if they had any personal experiences that they'd be willing to share with me. The stories I share are their stories, their experiences.
Anne Frank once said, "How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."
In his talk entitled "The Enduring Legacy of Relief Society" President Eyring in October 2009, reminded us all that the history of Relief Society is recorded in works and numbers, but the *heritage* is passed [from] heart to heart. He goes on to say,.....
"Under the leadership of women of great vision and
capacity, the Relief Society took the lead in starting charitable services which did not exist on the frontier in
those times for those in need. They began programs which became over the years the
worldwide LDS Family Services programs. They created a grain storage system so effective that they could
respond to a request for help from the federal government, in a time of war and
crisis. They began what became the Primary and what became the organization for
young women in the Church. They created their own magazine for women. The
Relief Society was at the heart of the beginning of the Church’s power to give
humanitarian aid across the world. Relief Society has become one of the largest
organizations for women in the world. "
A ll this is a result of women seeing a need, and creating a
solution. Being able to serve others
isn't dependent upon having a large group of women, rather it is dependent on
each one of us having a willing heart-- one filled with charity, with love, and
with compassion. Martin Luther King, Jr. once said, "Everybody can be
great... because anybody can serve. You don't have to have a college degree to
serve. You don't have to make your subject and verb agree to serve. You only
need a heart full of grace. A soul
generated by love."
Service, is in essence, one of the best ways we can show our love for our fellow beings. It is an opportunity to look outside ourselves, widen our horizons, and improve bonds of friendship.
I'd love to share with you the story of a young mother, who with
her family moved into their new home in northern Utah. At the time of this
story, she was a mother of three, and about to have her fourth. Here is her
story in her words.
"When [our youngest] was born, neither my mother nor my mother-in-law could come help me...I hadn't planned on not having their help, emergencies on both sides just ...came up at the same time as [his] delivery. So, there we were, new baby, three small children, brand new in the neighborhood, and no family coming to [the rescue]. We were ready to just live in "survival mode". Then, [to our surprise], neighbors started showing up ([And they] must have been prompted to come because I didn't call [them]). Many brought dinners large enough for leftovers, one brought a beautiful quilt, a few brought clothes, another--a wonderful older man (who I later found out was the stake patriarch), showed up with a handmade bookcase and said, "I make these whenever I get a new grandbaby, [and your son,] can be a surrogate." And then he and his wife stayed to chat a bit, which made my day so great. I vowed then and there that I will never *not* serve just because I don't know someone. Often, when calls are put out to help someone that I don't know, [I've thought], "Well, I can drop something off, but they don't really know me, so I won't stay." But that month (yeah, [we got] a whole month of service!) I learned that I WANTED people I didn't know to stay. I wanted conversation and fellowship, and I hope to give it [to others] in the future. Those people are now [friends, and ] I love to take all of my children to visit, [them]. I wouldn't have traded that struggle for the world, because it brought those people into my life."
Despite the overwhelming difficulty of her situation, I love
how she expresses her appreciation for those who served her, and her
determination to provide that same amount of love and care to others in the
future. And because of the service of
those in her new ward [and neighborhood], she is not surrounded by those who
are her new neighbors, but she and her
family are surrounded by friends. This
is one of the things service can do-- it can turn perfect strangers into
friends.
Jo Ann Abegglen, while speaking at a BYU devotional said, "To be like the Savior is to be whole, which implies that we are engaged in acts of selfless service. Selfless service requires personal action... It is easy to give away excess money, used equipment, and used clothing. It is more difficult to give of our time, to give of our personal presence to help others."
One of my friends in California, was the recipient
of such *personal* service many years ago, when she had to go on bed rest. Here is her story: “ When I was pregnant with [my son], I spent 20
weeks on bed rest, and he [still] ended up coming 10 weeks early, weighing 2
lbs. 15 oz. [I spent the last six weeks
of my pregnancy] at the hospital, [and
My husband's] mom and my mom took turns staying at our house. The [Relief Society]
sisters were so good to our family. Sisters regularly came, and cleaned the
house, and took the [older] kids out to play with their children. They visited
me in the hospital, called me just to talk... and even decorated my hospital
room for me! All the time, they made me feel like I was doing them a favor!
They recorded [the relief society] lessons so I could feel like I was part of
RS. Probably most importantly, they prayed for us. One sister told me that when
she called the temple to put our family's name on the prayer roll, the temple
worker asked her what was wrong with our family--because the temple had
received [so] many requests to put our family's name on the [temple prayer]
rolls. I'll never forget the feeling I had when she told me that. It was then
that I realized just how many people had prayed [our son] safely to earth. [Years
later,] I still get teary-eyed thinking about it."
On lds.org this wonderful quote is posted: "One true
key to happiness is to labor for the happiness of others."
In our hectic lives as women, where we seem to either be
running after little ones, driving to and from different activities, or
striving to help our children in one way or another as they become adults, and we may think we cannot serve. We may think we have enough on our agenda,
and that, for now, service is just not something we have the time for. If that is the case, then we have forgotten
that service within the home is paramount-- and that by caring for little ones, or
older ones, making meals, or indeed any number of things that come with being a
parent-- by doing those things, we ARE serving.
Not only are we serving, but we are teaching the value of acts of
kindness within the home-- something that will stay with them as they grow, and
have children of their own. Bedtime
stories, hugs, sharing in giggles and jokes, even doing the dishes when it may
be another's turn, speaks VOLUMES!-- *everything* that we do within the home
can be an act of service if it is done with love.
Belle Spafford, a Relief Society General President once said, "A woman's reach is bounded only by what her mind accepts and her heart allows.”
One of my favorite ways to serve is by doing secret service. Not only do I enjoy the perks of being righteously sneaky, but I've seen that the repercussions of secret service are huge. As the one who is receiving the service does not know who gives it, it means that *anyone* could be the one who has been thinking of them..... and that leads to believing that *everyone* could be a candidate. When the world is viewed through such a cheerfully colored lens, the receiver often wants to share that joy and happiness, and in time, pays it forward to someone else-- and thus we change the world for the better, one selfless act at a time.
Perhaps one of the reasons we are able to serve so well, is because we ourselves have been through many of those types of situations. We willingly stand at the thresholds of transition for others, and help them to cross those difficult bridges by lifting, cheering, or sometimes even carrying them as we serve. As the the poem ’Footprints in the Sand' tells us , we are never alone in our struggles, the Savior is always with us-- and in return, we can stand ready to help others along as well.
There are as many ways to serve one another: dinners,
exchanging emails or letters to share in both struggles and advice, giving hugs
and 'hello's when your paths cross,
showing up to do their dishes, or just being there to listen, are just the
beginning.
"We were 10 minutes late to church and the only pew big
enough to fit our family of three restless toddlers was near the front. With
the help of goldfish crackers, sippy cups full of water, crayons and trucks, we
made it through the hour long service. As I made my way out of the pew, ... a
woman came up to me and asked me how I was feeling. "Oh, good." I replied with a kind of smile I've put on
lately--sincere, but weary.
The woman says, "So, I'll be by tomorrow to pick up your laundry." She says this as if we had already talked about it. "Wait, what? My laundry? Why?"
"Because I want to help you. I'm too old to get down on the floor and play with the kids, but I can [help with the] laundry." She was so sure that this was happening. So sincere in her offering. So full of love.
'Thanks," I stammer, holding back tears. "That would be really great. Thank you."
"Well," she said, "the Lord has blessed me with a lot in my life, so there is a lot I can do."
The older woman in this story shows that she is living the words of the song, ‘Because I have been given much, I too must give.’ What a blessing she was to the young mother J
Washington Irving once said: "There is in every true woman's heart, a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity."
We can hold that 'heavenly fire' within us from the first breath we take here on earth-- age doesn't matter. I personally, feel very blessed to watch our daughter grow. I’ve watched her willingness to help others, and her courage in adversity. Her own strength has -- and always will be—an inspiration to me to do better at kindling my own ‘heavenly flame’.
One of the mothers of a friend of mine, shared this story
with me: She says, "I remember when [my husband], was really sick and
was in a coma, how much the Relief Society did for me. One sister bought us a
Christmas tree. Several sisters [took turns babysitting my youngest] for me so
I could go to see [him] at the hospital. The best thing I remember was coming
home to some wonderful chicken soup made by [one of the sisters]. I had some, and
didn't realize until I took a bite, how hungry I really was."
Sometimes we may need to jump in and be ready to help, and not wait for an engraved invitation. Those around us, may not realize themselves how much they stand in need of an act of kindness.
We have many spheres of influence, whether we are young, single adults, newly married, mothers, or grandmothers. We have that influence whether we are 9 years old, or 98. As Jo Ann Abegglan puts it, "We are never too young or too old to engage in selfless service."
As women, as members of a world, wide Relief Society, our
power to do good in this world is far reaching. Not only can we serve in groups,
singly, in and or with family members, but we can-- by our actions-- teach
others the benefits, and blessings of service. When we serve, we teach our
children, friends, and neighbors how important it is. When we give of our time
for others, we show them how highly we value and appreciate them. To give of
ourselves through service, is to do the Lord's work. We act as His hands, His
Voice of comfort, His listening ear, and we spread a message of hope to all of
our Heavenly Father's children.
Being a woman in these latter days is a great challenge, but if we focus our efforts on serving one another with love, we can lift one another, lighten each other’s burdens, and strengthen each other, so that it may truly be said of us like in Matthew, Chapter 25, verse 35: "For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in."
It is my hope and prayer that we may all do more for each other, and lift one another. In closing, I'd like to share a few words from the song, 'Scatter Sunshine':
"Slightest actions often meet the sorest needs,
For the world wants daily
Little kindly deeds."
.........................................................
When I first received the topic, "Relief Society, And The Role of Women In Service," I asked some of my friends if they had any personal experiences that they'd be willing to share with me. The stories I share are their stories, their experiences.
Anne Frank once said, "How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."
In his talk entitled "The Enduring Legacy of Relief Society" President Eyring in October 2009, reminded us all that the history of Relief Society is recorded in works and numbers, but the *heritage* is passed [from] heart to heart. He goes on to say,.....
Service, is in essence, one of the best ways we can show our love for our fellow beings. It is an opportunity to look outside ourselves, widen our horizons, and improve bonds of friendship.
"When [our youngest] was born, neither my mother nor my mother-in-law could come help me...I hadn't planned on not having their help, emergencies on both sides just ...came up at the same time as [his] delivery. So, there we were, new baby, three small children, brand new in the neighborhood, and no family coming to [the rescue]. We were ready to just live in "survival mode". Then, [to our surprise], neighbors started showing up ([And they] must have been prompted to come because I didn't call [them]). Many brought dinners large enough for leftovers, one brought a beautiful quilt, a few brought clothes, another--a wonderful older man (who I later found out was the stake patriarch), showed up with a handmade bookcase and said, "I make these whenever I get a new grandbaby, [and your son,] can be a surrogate." And then he and his wife stayed to chat a bit, which made my day so great. I vowed then and there that I will never *not* serve just because I don't know someone. Often, when calls are put out to help someone that I don't know, [I've thought], "Well, I can drop something off, but they don't really know me, so I won't stay." But that month (yeah, [we got] a whole month of service!) I learned that I WANTED people I didn't know to stay. I wanted conversation and fellowship, and I hope to give it [to others] in the future. Those people are now [friends, and ] I love to take all of my children to visit, [them]. I wouldn't have traded that struggle for the world, because it brought those people into my life."
Jo Ann Abegglen, while speaking at a BYU devotional said, "To be like the Savior is to be whole, which implies that we are engaged in acts of selfless service. Selfless service requires personal action... It is easy to give away excess money, used equipment, and used clothing. It is more difficult to give of our time, to give of our personal presence to help others."
Belle Spafford, a Relief Society General President once said, "A woman's reach is bounded only by what her mind accepts and her heart allows.”
One of my favorite ways to serve is by doing secret service. Not only do I enjoy the perks of being righteously sneaky, but I've seen that the repercussions of secret service are huge. As the one who is receiving the service does not know who gives it, it means that *anyone* could be the one who has been thinking of them..... and that leads to believing that *everyone* could be a candidate. When the world is viewed through such a cheerfully colored lens, the receiver often wants to share that joy and happiness, and in time, pays it forward to someone else-- and thus we change the world for the better, one selfless act at a time.
Perhaps one of the reasons we are able to serve so well, is because we ourselves have been through many of those types of situations. We willingly stand at the thresholds of transition for others, and help them to cross those difficult bridges by lifting, cheering, or sometimes even carrying them as we serve. As the the poem ’Footprints in the Sand' tells us , we are never alone in our struggles, the Savior is always with us-- and in return, we can stand ready to help others along as well.
On Facebook last
month, a mother shared this blogged story:
The woman says, "So, I'll be by tomorrow to pick up your laundry." She says this as if we had already talked about it. "Wait, what? My laundry? Why?"
"Because I want to help you. I'm too old to get down on the floor and play with the kids, but I can [help with the] laundry." She was so sure that this was happening. So sincere in her offering. So full of love.
'Thanks," I stammer, holding back tears. "That would be really great. Thank you."
"Well," she said, "the Lord has blessed me with a lot in my life, so there is a lot I can do."
The older woman in this story shows that she is living the words of the song, ‘Because I have been given much, I too must give.’ What a blessing she was to the young mother J
One of my friends shared this thought with me, "I think
the biggest thing about service, absolute service, is [it] shows in your
heart." And it does! Not only for
those who are on the receiving end, but for those doing the service, it leaves
a mark-- a heavenly glow. Another friend summed it up when she shared this,
"That's the thing about service; when we serve with the right
attitude we ALWAYS end up getting more blessings than we give. We will always
be in debt to God, but our good works make our faith stronger, so we can see
with [an] eternal perspective instead of
[a] worldly [one].
As RS women, we pack boxes when families move, bring meals
to the sick, babysit so that parents can find peace in the temple, we bring
cookies or brownies to those new to the neighborhood. We can cheer and
encourage, share in one another's celebrations, and have the box of tissue, and
hugs, ready for when sorrow or afflictions are present.Washington Irving once said: "There is in every true woman's heart, a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity, but which kindles up and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity."
We can hold that 'heavenly fire' within us from the first breath we take here on earth-- age doesn't matter. I personally, feel very blessed to watch our daughter grow. I’ve watched her willingness to help others, and her courage in adversity. Her own strength has -- and always will be—an inspiration to me to do better at kindling my own ‘heavenly flame’.
Sometimes we may need to jump in and be ready to help, and not wait for an engraved invitation. Those around us, may not realize themselves how much they stand in need of an act of kindness.
We have many spheres of influence, whether we are young, single adults, newly married, mothers, or grandmothers. We have that influence whether we are 9 years old, or 98. As Jo Ann Abegglan puts it, "We are never too young or too old to engage in selfless service."
Being a woman in these latter days is a great challenge, but if we focus our efforts on serving one another with love, we can lift one another, lighten each other’s burdens, and strengthen each other, so that it may truly be said of us like in Matthew, Chapter 25, verse 35: "For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in."
It is my hope and prayer that we may all do more for each other, and lift one another. In closing, I'd like to share a few words from the song, 'Scatter Sunshine':
"Slightest actions often meet the sorest needs,
For the world wants daily
Little kindly deeds."
………………………………….I say these things in the name of Jesus
Christ, AMEN
Monday, July 9, 2012
Date Night
*******************Date Night**********
Yup, this is still Friday night ;)
So we are on our way to see a play in Orem. We are in the process of getting a bid on the house we are renting, and texting our F.R. (friendly realtor) to let him know what our plans are.
We get to the theater and sit down just a few moments before the show starts. A family of four walk in, and sit down next to us. The woman looks vaughly familiar to me, but I can't remember where I've seen her. (Honestly, she looks just like one of the older sisters of a friend from the youth group I belonged to as a teen.)
During intermission, Aaron leaves to try to talk to F.R. on his cell. The woman and I spend the next 10 minutes talking and trying to figure out why each of us looks familiar to the other one. We try different locations/ states and find nothing.
Aaron returns to his seat, and the husband of the woman leans over and says, 'Is his name Aaron?'
It turns out that it was our husbands who knew each other!!! They were very good friends in high school, and both he and his wife (then fiance), were at our wedding. So although *we* had only met once, our husbands were the friends :) Our husbands had lost touch when the other couple moved out of state, and they had never been able to find one another. Aaron had tried for the last few years to reconnect with this man, now that we were living in Utah. They both stood up, and gave each other a big hug, and throughout the rest of the show, Aaron had a big grin on his face. (Gotta love moments like this!)
Afterwards we went out for frozon yogurt (which was just an excuse to hang out and catch up). We found out that his wife had bought the last four tickets that were together, and shortly after that, Aaron went online and bought the last *two* tickets that had seats together. What were the odds?!
It just goes to show that Heaven has a plan, and sometimes it is just more obvious than others ;)
***********************************
Yup, this is still Friday night ;)
So we are on our way to see a play in Orem. We are in the process of getting a bid on the house we are renting, and texting our F.R. (friendly realtor) to let him know what our plans are.
We get to the theater and sit down just a few moments before the show starts. A family of four walk in, and sit down next to us. The woman looks vaughly familiar to me, but I can't remember where I've seen her. (Honestly, she looks just like one of the older sisters of a friend from the youth group I belonged to as a teen.)
During intermission, Aaron leaves to try to talk to F.R. on his cell. The woman and I spend the next 10 minutes talking and trying to figure out why each of us looks familiar to the other one. We try different locations/ states and find nothing.
Aaron returns to his seat, and the husband of the woman leans over and says, 'Is his name Aaron?'
It turns out that it was our husbands who knew each other!!! They were very good friends in high school, and both he and his wife (then fiance), were at our wedding. So although *we* had only met once, our husbands were the friends :) Our husbands had lost touch when the other couple moved out of state, and they had never been able to find one another. Aaron had tried for the last few years to reconnect with this man, now that we were living in Utah. They both stood up, and gave each other a big hug, and throughout the rest of the show, Aaron had a big grin on his face. (Gotta love moments like this!)
Afterwards we went out for frozon yogurt (which was just an excuse to hang out and catch up). We found out that his wife had bought the last four tickets that were together, and shortly after that, Aaron went online and bought the last *two* tickets that had seats together. What were the odds?!
It just goes to show that Heaven has a plan, and sometimes it is just more obvious than others ;)
***********************************
Part Two: the short end of the stick.
*** Three Saturdays Ago***
The house is prepped, clean, and ready for pictures. The appt is at 2pm, and we are waiting.
A silver car drives by. And then again, and again-- three times. The driver looks lost, and I wonder: is this the guy who is coming to take pictures? (I knew it wasn't the owners's realtor, as I had Googled him, and knew what he looked like). After all this back and forthing, he pulls up to the house, and knocks on our door. Aaron answers, and the man asks, 'Are you _______(the owner)?' This tells me the owners' realtor didn't send him to take pictures. The owners now live out of state (thus the property manager).
Turns out, he is an investor, and most definately not the guy to take the pictures. He told us that the owners had asked him to take a look at the place, to see if he wanted to buy it. (Um, I don't think so-- he would have known that there were renters in the home, and 24 hour advance notice was needed.) There are a couple of other clues in what he goes on to say, so we don't let him in, and we advise he just waits for the realtor to put up the sign. He leaves.
At 2:30 the boys are getting rowdy, and I'm bored. So I take all the kids and Captain out for ice-cream, while Aaron stays at the house. The owners' realtor shows up about 10 minutes after I leave. Despite thanking us for making the house picture perfect, he still calls us 'the most difficult and uncooperative' people he has ever had to work with. (Makes me wonder: does he think that all people who rent are for stepping on? Does he automatically believe if they disagree with his methods, and insist on their rights-- they are 'difficult'?)
**Mid-week thoughts:
Anyways, what with one thing and another, our plans for buying a house next year, have been put on fast forward. The goal was to pay off Aaron's sports car (so close!), reduce any other debts, and get an idea how much his school loans were going to cost us, (think BA + MA + PhD), and save up for a down payment.
At this point we check out our credit scores, and our debt to income ratio (which includes our beautiful home in SB, IN), and find that by paying extra on the car we've come much closer to being ready than we thought. So we start the process. Thanks to our F.R. (friendly realtor) and his buddy who is a mortage broker, we are set to get a prequal letter, and start looking.
**Friday:
Late Friday afternoon, Aaron get an email from the property manager asking if it will work out for us to have two showings: one at 11am (first possible slot), and one for 1pm. Even though *we* didn't get the full 24 hours, we notice that the owners' realtor did send our property manager those times before 10am. We let him know that will be fine.
Friday evening:
Aaron comes up with a great idea: why don't we bid on the house we are in? It has fantastic views, is WAY under our budget, and we wouldn't have to move! I have to say, all three reasons are great. My shoulder is still on the mend, coming in under budget is always wonderful, and this house gets AMAZING views-- and only a few homes in this neighborhood do. So, on our way to Date Night (a play down in Orem), we text our F.R. and let him know that we want to bid on the house we are renting-- and as there are showings the next day, the sooner the better.
****************Read Date Night Post for what happens at the play ;)***********************
When we get home, we call F.R., and talk numbers. We go to bed nervous, and stressed. What is going to happen tomorrow???
The house is prepped, clean, and ready for pictures. The appt is at 2pm, and we are waiting.
A silver car drives by. And then again, and again-- three times. The driver looks lost, and I wonder: is this the guy who is coming to take pictures? (I knew it wasn't the owners's realtor, as I had Googled him, and knew what he looked like). After all this back and forthing, he pulls up to the house, and knocks on our door. Aaron answers, and the man asks, 'Are you _______(the owner)?' This tells me the owners' realtor didn't send him to take pictures. The owners now live out of state (thus the property manager).
Turns out, he is an investor, and most definately not the guy to take the pictures. He told us that the owners had asked him to take a look at the place, to see if he wanted to buy it. (Um, I don't think so-- he would have known that there were renters in the home, and 24 hour advance notice was needed.) There are a couple of other clues in what he goes on to say, so we don't let him in, and we advise he just waits for the realtor to put up the sign. He leaves.
At 2:30 the boys are getting rowdy, and I'm bored. So I take all the kids and Captain out for ice-cream, while Aaron stays at the house. The owners' realtor shows up about 10 minutes after I leave. Despite thanking us for making the house picture perfect, he still calls us 'the most difficult and uncooperative' people he has ever had to work with. (Makes me wonder: does he think that all people who rent are for stepping on? Does he automatically believe if they disagree with his methods, and insist on their rights-- they are 'difficult'?)
**Mid-week thoughts:
Anyways, what with one thing and another, our plans for buying a house next year, have been put on fast forward. The goal was to pay off Aaron's sports car (so close!), reduce any other debts, and get an idea how much his school loans were going to cost us, (think BA + MA + PhD), and save up for a down payment.
At this point we check out our credit scores, and our debt to income ratio (which includes our beautiful home in SB, IN), and find that by paying extra on the car we've come much closer to being ready than we thought. So we start the process. Thanks to our F.R. (friendly realtor) and his buddy who is a mortage broker, we are set to get a prequal letter, and start looking.
**Friday:
Late Friday afternoon, Aaron get an email from the property manager asking if it will work out for us to have two showings: one at 11am (first possible slot), and one for 1pm. Even though *we* didn't get the full 24 hours, we notice that the owners' realtor did send our property manager those times before 10am. We let him know that will be fine.
Friday evening:
Aaron comes up with a great idea: why don't we bid on the house we are in? It has fantastic views, is WAY under our budget, and we wouldn't have to move! I have to say, all three reasons are great. My shoulder is still on the mend, coming in under budget is always wonderful, and this house gets AMAZING views-- and only a few homes in this neighborhood do. So, on our way to Date Night (a play down in Orem), we text our F.R. and let him know that we want to bid on the house we are renting-- and as there are showings the next day, the sooner the better.
****************Read Date Night Post for what happens at the play ;)***********************
When we get home, we call F.R., and talk numbers. We go to bed nervous, and stressed. What is going to happen tomorrow???
Part Three: The showing
**************************************
Back to the house situation: (This happened two Saturdays ago)
Appts set: one at 11am and one at 1pm
It is 11am, and for the last 10 minutes, a car has been parked in front of this house. Promtly at 11, a lady gets out, and comes to the door. Aaron, the kids, and Captain, head out the door, and go set up the good faith deposit, and then go right over to F.R.'s office. I pick up a magazine, and pretend I have absolutely no cares in the world, (much harder than you would think!). All the windows are open, so when they go outside, I can hear them chatting about the home-- they love the big bedrooms, the openess, and the view. (DARN IT!)
They mention the house around the corner, (bigger than this one, also a short sell, and still has lakeview. Our prequal letter came a day after this one went on the market-- and it got a number of offers the *first day*. I learn that the house -- which was listed at $200,000, sold for $230,000. Aparently the couple checking out this house had put a bid on that one too, but they didn't get it.)
They soon leave to go view more homes. And now is where it gets interesting....
As they drive away, another two cars pull up.
I call Aaron and let him know that the people for the first showing have left. He says he will be right over to pick me up, and bring me over to the office to sign paperwork.
One of the ladies comes over to the second car and -- the windows are open, remember, so I can hear them-- says to the other, 'Well, it looks like they just walked up to the door and knocked. Let me go give that a try.'
She come to the door, and I open it. She asks if she and her client can come inside and see the home. I tell her she needs an appointment. She says she called for a 10 am appt., and I interupt her to ask her to repeat what she just said. She now looks through her paperwork, scrolls down to where it is highlighted, and says she called the service, and asked for an *11* am appointment.
Ya, and I'm a NASCAR driver.
So I call her on it, and make it plain that I didn't recieve any notice. She tries to play it off that somehow it is the owners' realtor fault that he didn't call me. I am then obliged to tell her that the realtor doesn't call me....it's the property manager who does. I also feel obliged to tell her that my windows are open, and I heard her conversation with the other lady quite clearly, and I know she didn't try to make an appt. She blushes, and leaves.
Aaron pulls up, I lock up the house, and we roar away to the office where we sign a TON of paperwork. We get home, eat lunch, and get a call: We need to add signatures to two pages. It is 12:35, and we rush back over to the office, and then back to the house. We pull up at 12:50. We wait, and wait.... but no one shows up.
****** Later that weekend, we hear back from our realtor. The owners' realtor wants us to sign a paper stating we will agree to not look at any homes for 90 days. He threatens to not show the owners our bid unless we do so. He also states that if (if!) he gets anymore offers, he will draw the banks attention to those offers and put their bids in first.
Our realtor is awesome. He tells the owners' realtor that we will not sign any such paper-- especially as the owners could forclose, and we would have signed our rights away. (If it forclosed, and we had signed the paper, we would not be able to look for a new place to live-- even if we were required to leave here in less time than 90 days from signing the paper. How crazy is this guy?)
So after MUCH discussion, our realtor gets the point across: We are from L.A. (yes all of us-- that is where we all originally met). We do not do business that way. We are not going to be doormats for him to stomp on. (YA!). And FINIALLY this guy backs down.
So come Monday evening, the owners decide to.... drumroll, please!
**They accept our bid**
Whew!
Now we just have to wait for the bank to approve our bid too.
As I look around this house I see spilled granola, colored pencils on the counter, books on the floor, and musical instruments in the living room. As I look out my back door I see the lake, trees, and seagulls soaring over the lake. Beautiful. It is all beautiful.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Part One: What to do when the house you are renting goes into a short sale: The short end of the stick...in a SHORT Sale process
Part One:
Life is short. And, more specifically, life is darn short when your plans go awry. Those curve balls seem to come out of nowhere, hit you hard, and throw your ordered life into something resembling a bad circus. If you are looking for info on what we did when the house we are renting went into a short sale, scroll down to the line of astericks-- everyone else, here is what our lives have been like for the past while. Welcome to life in the madhouse!
Which brings me to this: The owners of the house we are renting, (yes, the one that we moved to so we could prepare to pay the hubby's school loans), have decided to short sell the house. Yes, we've now only been here four months. Yes, we are in shock, too. No, we didn't expect this one either. And-- finally-- yes life has been crazy, and immensly stressful, for the past few weeks.
We first got a tantilizing taste of the future when someone knocked on our door. A lady stood there, asked for _______ or __________ (the owners). She then asked if we were new owners. (No, but by now I was loving the house, the view, and the church group.) She then-- breaking the news ever so gently-- handed me a piece of paper, and told me the owners were behind on their payments..... probably by at least 3--4 months.
Oh,my.
We called up the property manager, he assured us the lease protected us, and we would be fine. Fine? We were NOT fine, thank you very much. We just moved! (This was not quite two months after being here.) - He then calls out to the owners, who tell him that everything is well, and that they were just in the process of getting a "loan modification".
Fast forward to the beginning of June: We get a call from the Property Manager. The owner's have decided to short sell. And to top it off he tells us (over the phone) that the owners say we can start taking $100 dollars off the rent-- to help 'soften the blow' and as an incentive to keep mowing the lawn and keeping the place nice.
I find this highly ironic as we have *made* this place nice-- some of the weeds were up to my shoulder!
A week and a half later, my husband calls me from work. The realtor for the owners has called him there leaving messages on both his work number and his work cell. He doesn't have time to call him back... can I do it? It's my birthday, but my plans are flexible, and I give him a call.
First off: I don't get a hold of him, so I leave a message.
Second: I call my friend _______, whom I have known for years, and just happens to be a realtor as well. I ask him what I can expect, and what my rights and responsibilities are as a renter in this situation. He gives me loads of information appropriate for the state I live in, (for me this is Utah), and additionally gives me some websites to look over for more info. He advises me to get everything in writting. Not only will this let me review any details, but it helps to make sure everyone is abiding by the rules as well.
The owner's realtor gives me a call back late in the day. I ask him to email me, and he replies he just wants a few minutes of time really quick on the phone. First thing he asks: how much do I know about the short sell process?
(Please note: whenever someone asks me this type of 'how much do I know?' question, I always play dumb. It is HIGHLY informative as to what kind of person I am speaking to. Will they repect me? Will they try to take advantage of my percieved ignorance?)
He then says he would like to get someone in later that day, or at the latest tomorrow morning to take some pictures of the property, and get the BPO done. And I stop him right there.
Here is why: Legally--as a renter-- I get 24 hours heads up notice. I tell him there are two reasons why 'same day' isn't going to work. Number one: it's my birthday, and I am not going to spend the next couple of hours scrambling around to prep the house for pictures. Number two: I legally get 24 hours advance notice.
He then proceeds to call me uncooperative, and difficult. (Really? Because I am insisting on the 24 hours?! I mean, seriously, I know what pictures should look like-- and as I look around my living room & kitchen, there is NO WAY it is going to be picture worthy in just an hour. Who does the morning dishes on their birthday?!) He then tries to bully me into doing what he wants by threatening to call the owners. Um, hello? They are short selling the house we just paid to start renting-- just what does he think they can do to make our lives *more* complicated? He then tells me that he is going to call the property manager-- I say, "Great! I think he'd be very interested in hearing that you are trying to get away with not abiding by the lease".
I say goodbye while he is still arguing, and then contact my husband. I re-read our lease-- yes, I highlighted those sections pertaining to the sale of the property, the areas that ensured we had 'quiet enjoyment of property',(a GREAT clause), and how long we would have to move if the property sold-- which turned out to be 90 days. My husband does additional research on what to do in a situation like this, and I start to write a LONG email (yes, even longer than this post!) detailing what we, as renters, will do to help facilitate the sale of the property for the owners, but also what we expect them to abide by as well--*precisly*.
****************************************************
Here is what we included as 'expectations/ allowments' in the email to the property manager. Some of this might sound strict, but I wrote that this was all due to the behavior of the owners' realtor-- which it was. (Because had he not been so rude, and awlful, we never would have gotten all this info together and demanded this.) If it was in the lease, I quoted it--including section, and exact wording. If it was part of Civil Code, or law, I quoted it, and included the source as well.
For instance: Did you know that if you call the local police station (which my husband did), you can find out if you-- as a renter-- can refuse to have a lockbox placed on your door? We found that ENORMOUSLY comforting as parents. We have two kids that are old enough to babysit our youngest, and I often leave them in charge while I go to the store. The idea that a realtor could just come and open the house up for strangers to look the house over-- while I'm not there-- was horrifying. So in the email I said no lock box, and quoted the Civil Code (including number in case they needed to look it up).
1. 24 hours advance notice. We would need time to prep the house, (remove any personal items,personal info-- paperwork stuff, etc). We would also need to arrange to take our children-- AND our dog--out, while showings occured. (Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find something? Can we say, "McDonald's drive thru for ice-cream", anyone?)
2. Quiet enjoyment of property. We expected to have the majority of our time *ours*. (Unless the owners wanted to give us a HUGE reduction in rent, that is.)
3. In order to help 'show the property' I stated that we would be happy to open our home for showings (with 24 hour advance notice for every appointment) one day a week, from the hours of ____ to _____. (This was a nice 8 hour window of time.) I even suggested Saturday,(the best day to show a home), but left the finial desicion to them.
4.Communication was to be by email, (gave specific email address), and our home phone number. My husband was not to be disturbed at work. (I also inquired as to how the owners' realtor had recieved those numbers. We haven't gotten an answer to that one, but I really just asked it to show that we were aware that those numbers should not have been given out without our ok.)
5. No lock box. One of us would be at the home to open up for the appointments.
6. I stated that it was to be made clear which items were our own personal property vs. what came with the house. I wrote that I am specifiying this, because we have an arbor, raised beds, and two fountains. (Can you imagine bidding on a home only to find out that some part you loved was not included?!)
7. I wanted it *in writting* about the rent reduction.
8. I stated that although we would continue to mow, and do basic maintanence, we would stop landscaping and adding wood chips....unless they wanted to re-imburse us. (You can definetly tell where we started and stopped.) The clause in the lease that stated we were to maintain the property-- and NOT use the excuse, 'It was like this when we got here', did not apply to us. I stated that we took pictures (yes, I did take pictures of the entire house and yard before we moved our stuff in), and I was happy to improve things while we were going to be living here,(I am a Master Gardener, afterall!), but now that the house was going up for sale, I would not be giving out anymore 'freebies'. (In fact, I dug up the lilacs I had planted, and potted them.)
9. We expected to be treated with dignity and respect. (And after the conversation with the owners' realtor, I felt I needed to state that loud and clear.)
We waited a week and a bit. Stressed out, house and yard spotless, and on the edge of our seats. I regretted dumping out old boxes, we poured over adds for homes, and our family was wondering: where to next?
In a weeks time this is what we got:
An email from our Property Manager stating that he will be arranging things with us-- no longer is _________ (owners' realtor) going to have any contact with us. The property manager will personally email us about showings, and 'Saturdays sound great.'
So that is the end of "Part One: The short end of the stick".
Life is short. And, more specifically, life is darn short when your plans go awry. Those curve balls seem to come out of nowhere, hit you hard, and throw your ordered life into something resembling a bad circus. If you are looking for info on what we did when the house we are renting went into a short sale, scroll down to the line of astericks-- everyone else, here is what our lives have been like for the past while. Welcome to life in the madhouse!
Which brings me to this: The owners of the house we are renting, (yes, the one that we moved to so we could prepare to pay the hubby's school loans), have decided to short sell the house. Yes, we've now only been here four months. Yes, we are in shock, too. No, we didn't expect this one either. And-- finally-- yes life has been crazy, and immensly stressful, for the past few weeks.
We first got a tantilizing taste of the future when someone knocked on our door. A lady stood there, asked for _______ or __________ (the owners). She then asked if we were new owners. (No, but by now I was loving the house, the view, and the church group.) She then-- breaking the news ever so gently-- handed me a piece of paper, and told me the owners were behind on their payments..... probably by at least 3--4 months.
Oh,my.
We called up the property manager, he assured us the lease protected us, and we would be fine. Fine? We were NOT fine, thank you very much. We just moved! (This was not quite two months after being here.) - He then calls out to the owners, who tell him that everything is well, and that they were just in the process of getting a "loan modification".
Fast forward to the beginning of June: We get a call from the Property Manager. The owner's have decided to short sell. And to top it off he tells us (over the phone) that the owners say we can start taking $100 dollars off the rent-- to help 'soften the blow' and as an incentive to keep mowing the lawn and keeping the place nice.
I find this highly ironic as we have *made* this place nice-- some of the weeds were up to my shoulder!
A week and a half later, my husband calls me from work. The realtor for the owners has called him there leaving messages on both his work number and his work cell. He doesn't have time to call him back... can I do it? It's my birthday, but my plans are flexible, and I give him a call.
First off: I don't get a hold of him, so I leave a message.
Second: I call my friend _______, whom I have known for years, and just happens to be a realtor as well. I ask him what I can expect, and what my rights and responsibilities are as a renter in this situation. He gives me loads of information appropriate for the state I live in, (for me this is Utah), and additionally gives me some websites to look over for more info. He advises me to get everything in writting. Not only will this let me review any details, but it helps to make sure everyone is abiding by the rules as well.
The owner's realtor gives me a call back late in the day. I ask him to email me, and he replies he just wants a few minutes of time really quick on the phone. First thing he asks: how much do I know about the short sell process?
(Please note: whenever someone asks me this type of 'how much do I know?' question, I always play dumb. It is HIGHLY informative as to what kind of person I am speaking to. Will they repect me? Will they try to take advantage of my percieved ignorance?)
He then says he would like to get someone in later that day, or at the latest tomorrow morning to take some pictures of the property, and get the BPO done. And I stop him right there.
Here is why: Legally--as a renter-- I get 24 hours heads up notice. I tell him there are two reasons why 'same day' isn't going to work. Number one: it's my birthday, and I am not going to spend the next couple of hours scrambling around to prep the house for pictures. Number two: I legally get 24 hours advance notice.
He then proceeds to call me uncooperative, and difficult. (Really? Because I am insisting on the 24 hours?! I mean, seriously, I know what pictures should look like-- and as I look around my living room & kitchen, there is NO WAY it is going to be picture worthy in just an hour. Who does the morning dishes on their birthday?!) He then tries to bully me into doing what he wants by threatening to call the owners. Um, hello? They are short selling the house we just paid to start renting-- just what does he think they can do to make our lives *more* complicated? He then tells me that he is going to call the property manager-- I say, "Great! I think he'd be very interested in hearing that you are trying to get away with not abiding by the lease".
I say goodbye while he is still arguing, and then contact my husband. I re-read our lease-- yes, I highlighted those sections pertaining to the sale of the property, the areas that ensured we had 'quiet enjoyment of property',(a GREAT clause), and how long we would have to move if the property sold-- which turned out to be 90 days. My husband does additional research on what to do in a situation like this, and I start to write a LONG email (yes, even longer than this post!) detailing what we, as renters, will do to help facilitate the sale of the property for the owners, but also what we expect them to abide by as well--*precisly*.
****************************************************
Here is what we included as 'expectations/ allowments' in the email to the property manager. Some of this might sound strict, but I wrote that this was all due to the behavior of the owners' realtor-- which it was. (Because had he not been so rude, and awlful, we never would have gotten all this info together and demanded this.) If it was in the lease, I quoted it--including section, and exact wording. If it was part of Civil Code, or law, I quoted it, and included the source as well.
For instance: Did you know that if you call the local police station (which my husband did), you can find out if you-- as a renter-- can refuse to have a lockbox placed on your door? We found that ENORMOUSLY comforting as parents. We have two kids that are old enough to babysit our youngest, and I often leave them in charge while I go to the store. The idea that a realtor could just come and open the house up for strangers to look the house over-- while I'm not there-- was horrifying. So in the email I said no lock box, and quoted the Civil Code (including number in case they needed to look it up).
1. 24 hours advance notice. We would need time to prep the house, (remove any personal items,personal info-- paperwork stuff, etc). We would also need to arrange to take our children-- AND our dog--out, while showings occured. (Do you have any idea how difficult it is to find something? Can we say, "McDonald's drive thru for ice-cream", anyone?)
2. Quiet enjoyment of property. We expected to have the majority of our time *ours*. (Unless the owners wanted to give us a HUGE reduction in rent, that is.)
3. In order to help 'show the property' I stated that we would be happy to open our home for showings (with 24 hour advance notice for every appointment) one day a week, from the hours of ____ to _____. (This was a nice 8 hour window of time.) I even suggested Saturday,(the best day to show a home), but left the finial desicion to them.
4.Communication was to be by email, (gave specific email address), and our home phone number. My husband was not to be disturbed at work. (I also inquired as to how the owners' realtor had recieved those numbers. We haven't gotten an answer to that one, but I really just asked it to show that we were aware that those numbers should not have been given out without our ok.)
5. No lock box. One of us would be at the home to open up for the appointments.
6. I stated that it was to be made clear which items were our own personal property vs. what came with the house. I wrote that I am specifiying this, because we have an arbor, raised beds, and two fountains. (Can you imagine bidding on a home only to find out that some part you loved was not included?!)
7. I wanted it *in writting* about the rent reduction.
8. I stated that although we would continue to mow, and do basic maintanence, we would stop landscaping and adding wood chips....unless they wanted to re-imburse us. (You can definetly tell where we started and stopped.) The clause in the lease that stated we were to maintain the property-- and NOT use the excuse, 'It was like this when we got here', did not apply to us. I stated that we took pictures (yes, I did take pictures of the entire house and yard before we moved our stuff in), and I was happy to improve things while we were going to be living here,(I am a Master Gardener, afterall!), but now that the house was going up for sale, I would not be giving out anymore 'freebies'. (In fact, I dug up the lilacs I had planted, and potted them.)
9. We expected to be treated with dignity and respect. (And after the conversation with the owners' realtor, I felt I needed to state that loud and clear.)
We waited a week and a bit. Stressed out, house and yard spotless, and on the edge of our seats. I regretted dumping out old boxes, we poured over adds for homes, and our family was wondering: where to next?
In a weeks time this is what we got:
An email from our Property Manager stating that he will be arranging things with us-- no longer is _________ (owners' realtor) going to have any contact with us. The property manager will personally email us about showings, and 'Saturdays sound great.'
So that is the end of "Part One: The short end of the stick".
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Homeschooling Week 1
This last week has been one full of change, adventure, and quite frankly *fun*. But to explain the *why* of it all, I'll back up and tell you what has been going on...
For the past several months I have watched over Jacob's progress in kindergarten closely. I noticed a few months ago that he has the same difficulties that Matt had at his age: namely a complete and utter disreguard for reading. (Which, as an avid reader, sends up the flashing lights & loud sirens of doom, ringing in my ears.) It was such a concern for me, that I contacted a lady who works for the Alpine School District to have him and Matt tested for learning disabilities.
They tested brilliantly. So then: what was going on???
Two Fridays ago, I sat at the work table waiting for stations to start up. The kids were taking a spelling test, and they were just reviewing the words (in case any kids had missed hearing them). I listened in, and kept thinking, 'Jacob knows that one. And that one, oh-- that one too!' Nice thoughts, you know? I hadn't heard about the spelling test ahead of time, so I was relieved that even though we hadn't practiced, he would be prepared. Those 'nice thoughts' left when I looked over at my son. His eyes were looking up at the ceiling, out the window, at the walls-- everywhere, really. He looked so BORED. Poor thing.
The kids handed in their papers to me, and I took a look at Jacob's. Almost every word was wrong. Wrong!
Later that day while driving home from school, I ask the question: What did you do at school today? And I get the same answer I have gotten for two weeks straight: 'Nothing'.
'Nothing'.
At first I thought it was funny-- a 'pretend answer'. But that day, I asked some pretty pointed questions like, 'Is school boring?' and 'What are you learning?' And then I asked myself a pretty important question: "Is having free time for myself worth my son having a bad education?" Because, honestly, that is THE question. The *ALL IMPORTANT* one. My husband makes enough money that I don't have to work outside the home. I have homeschooled our two older children. I know how it goes. And, at this point, I have a test result that tells me Jacob is smart.
Monday morning looms. And Jacob-- sweet, brilliant, *honest* Jacob says: Mom, can I homeschool? And I say 'Yes'.
So that's how we got to this point. I know what to do. It isn't a big deal. We fill out a form, get it notarized, and mail it off. We return the book from the Take Home Reading Program (a HUGE disapointment-- I'll write about it another time), and also the school library book. We go to museums, do some chores, read together on the couch, and play Memory. We make Mac 'n Cheese, drink some juice, and play math games. We learn a new way to write time, make a number chart that goes until 130, and we are in the process of making a calendar. We learn about King Arthur, and read silly stories and poetry. We walk around a lake with surrounding wetlands. We walk (just a foot in) on the ice that has formed on the lake. We go to the park, the library (American Fork library is better), and check out the Provo City Library. We learn that flowers change color if put in water with food coloring in it for several days.
We have fun.
For the past several months I have watched over Jacob's progress in kindergarten closely. I noticed a few months ago that he has the same difficulties that Matt had at his age: namely a complete and utter disreguard for reading. (Which, as an avid reader, sends up the flashing lights & loud sirens of doom, ringing in my ears.) It was such a concern for me, that I contacted a lady who works for the Alpine School District to have him and Matt tested for learning disabilities.
They tested brilliantly. So then: what was going on???
Two Fridays ago, I sat at the work table waiting for stations to start up. The kids were taking a spelling test, and they were just reviewing the words (in case any kids had missed hearing them). I listened in, and kept thinking, 'Jacob knows that one. And that one, oh-- that one too!' Nice thoughts, you know? I hadn't heard about the spelling test ahead of time, so I was relieved that even though we hadn't practiced, he would be prepared. Those 'nice thoughts' left when I looked over at my son. His eyes were looking up at the ceiling, out the window, at the walls-- everywhere, really. He looked so BORED. Poor thing.
The kids handed in their papers to me, and I took a look at Jacob's. Almost every word was wrong. Wrong!
Later that day while driving home from school, I ask the question: What did you do at school today? And I get the same answer I have gotten for two weeks straight: 'Nothing'.
'Nothing'.
At first I thought it was funny-- a 'pretend answer'. But that day, I asked some pretty pointed questions like, 'Is school boring?' and 'What are you learning?' And then I asked myself a pretty important question: "Is having free time for myself worth my son having a bad education?" Because, honestly, that is THE question. The *ALL IMPORTANT* one. My husband makes enough money that I don't have to work outside the home. I have homeschooled our two older children. I know how it goes. And, at this point, I have a test result that tells me Jacob is smart.
Monday morning looms. And Jacob-- sweet, brilliant, *honest* Jacob says: Mom, can I homeschool? And I say 'Yes'.
So that's how we got to this point. I know what to do. It isn't a big deal. We fill out a form, get it notarized, and mail it off. We return the book from the Take Home Reading Program (a HUGE disapointment-- I'll write about it another time), and also the school library book. We go to museums, do some chores, read together on the couch, and play Memory. We make Mac 'n Cheese, drink some juice, and play math games. We learn a new way to write time, make a number chart that goes until 130, and we are in the process of making a calendar. We learn about King Arthur, and read silly stories and poetry. We walk around a lake with surrounding wetlands. We walk (just a foot in) on the ice that has formed on the lake. We go to the park, the library (American Fork library is better), and check out the Provo City Library. We learn that flowers change color if put in water with food coloring in it for several days.
We have fun.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
CTR
It is 4pm on a Monday afternoon. I'm taking my daughter, Winter, and the daughter of a friend of mine to Wal-Mart to get some bread and some fabric. The bread, because-- so far-- Jacob only eats the Wal-Mart brand of wheat bread (he doesn't believe in branching out), and the fabric, because we are making a quilt. My friend just had some surgery done on her foot, and as is tradition in our family, we make a quilt for those who have had surgery/ hospital time. This time, we are engaging the assistance of my friend's daughter to make it.
Back to the 4pm:
We pull into the parking lot, and I aim for the parking aisle with the flag pole. (Landmarks and patterns of parking are SUCH a good thing when I park in a giant lot. It can be worse than trying to find your car in the parking lot at LegoLand, because there are none of those handy 'You parked in the _____ zone' signs.) Anyways, I spy a parking place up ahead on the left, but I can't get to it just yet as there is a car ahead of me. There is another car that looks like it may turn into the aisle, so I flip my turn signal on. As the car in front of me leaves, and I pull forward, the driver-- a woman as I can now see-- shakes her head at me, and makes a quick turn into the spot.
Really?!
I feel all sorts of things: anger, frustration, and a strong desire to just park right behind her, turn off my engine, and claim I'm having 'car trouble' and I just *can't* get it to start up again.
But I don't. I've got two young ladies in the car, and they are watching me. And-- to be honest-- I wouldn't do that anyways. (I also didn't think of it until five minutes ago). But hours later I'm still feeling frustration over the tendancy of people to take what they want, and stomp on people. And then SMILE. As if they've won some sort of highly prized 'Anti-Humanitarian Award'.
The parking place isn't a big deal. Winter helped me find another one that was closer anyways. (Thank you Winter!) I couldn't help but think as I drove away from the area that on my car are the letters CTR. Choose the Right. And as such, I do strive to do that. It isn't easy. It isn't a collection of letters that mean I will always win-- because 'Right' doesn't. Even 'right' loses sometimes in this world. But CTR isn't just a guideline for how to play the game of life. It is also a way to live-- even when you lose.
Back to the 4pm:
We pull into the parking lot, and I aim for the parking aisle with the flag pole. (Landmarks and patterns of parking are SUCH a good thing when I park in a giant lot. It can be worse than trying to find your car in the parking lot at LegoLand, because there are none of those handy 'You parked in the _____ zone' signs.) Anyways, I spy a parking place up ahead on the left, but I can't get to it just yet as there is a car ahead of me. There is another car that looks like it may turn into the aisle, so I flip my turn signal on. As the car in front of me leaves, and I pull forward, the driver-- a woman as I can now see-- shakes her head at me, and makes a quick turn into the spot.
Really?!
I feel all sorts of things: anger, frustration, and a strong desire to just park right behind her, turn off my engine, and claim I'm having 'car trouble' and I just *can't* get it to start up again.
But I don't. I've got two young ladies in the car, and they are watching me. And-- to be honest-- I wouldn't do that anyways. (I also didn't think of it until five minutes ago). But hours later I'm still feeling frustration over the tendancy of people to take what they want, and stomp on people. And then SMILE. As if they've won some sort of highly prized 'Anti-Humanitarian Award'.
The parking place isn't a big deal. Winter helped me find another one that was closer anyways. (Thank you Winter!) I couldn't help but think as I drove away from the area that on my car are the letters CTR. Choose the Right. And as such, I do strive to do that. It isn't easy. It isn't a collection of letters that mean I will always win-- because 'Right' doesn't. Even 'right' loses sometimes in this world. But CTR isn't just a guideline for how to play the game of life. It is also a way to live-- even when you lose.
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